


Learning to Be Human

by nerdcultureclash



Category: his fair assassin, mortal heart
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 10:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcultureclash/pseuds/nerdcultureclash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "Mortal Heart," Annith and Balthazaar return to the convent and Balthazaar learns to be human - with varying degrees of success. Inspired by tumblr user thefuryoftimelords.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to Be Human

When trying to teach my formerly immortal llover how to be human, I did not think that the first lesson should have been the difference between his indoor voice and his outdoor voice. I was rueing my negligence when I was woken by Balthazaar screaming loud enough to wake the dead at some ungodly hour of the night.   
“Annith!” he roared. “What is that sound?”

I rolled over and rubbed my eyes. “Darling, I do believe that’s you. Now quit bellowing before you wake the entire convent up.”

“No,” he said as panic filled his eyes. “That growling noise! I believe we are under attack!”

He jumped out of bed and paced around looking for his sword. I snuggled under the blankets and leaned back to enjoy the view. His new human status had not done anything to his chiseled physique - if anything, now that the unnatural pallor was gone from his skin, he was even more beautiful.

He cocked his head and grabbed for the sword, which he had located atop the dresser. “There it is again! Do not worry Annith, I will defend the convent. There is no need for you to risk your life.”

“Stop!” I cried, but he had already bounded out into the hallway like an overzealous guard dog. “You forgot your clothes,” I continued helplessly. With a groan, I slipped out of bed and wrapped myself in a fur robe and slippers, then padded down the hallway after my naked lover and my brave defender against things that go bump in the night.

I found him standing at the door, waving his sword around as the girls huddled in a corner far away from him. “Do not fear, children,” he exclaimed. “I shall protect you from whatever’s out there.”

“Balthazaar,” I called out. “I do think they’re more scared of you then whatever is making that noise you keep hearing!”

“Stay back, Annith, I will not have you risking your life for me again,” he cried and jumped out into the cold. It would have been a very heroic tableau had he not tripped and fallen face-first into a snow drift. 

I sighed and rushed out to rescue him. “How ironic would that be: the graceful god of death, bane of mortals for centuries, frozen to death in a snow drift because he lost his undergarments.”

He struggled to get up before slipping again. “Annith, you should not be out here! It’s dangerous! Don’t you hear that growling noise?”

I looked at him quizzically, then burst out laughing. “Balthazaar, that’s your stomach!”

“No, it’s not, darling,” he said patronizingly. “Stomachs don’t make that noise.”

I rolled my eyes. “Look at who’s an expert on mankind after being human for - what, a few months? When people get hungry, our stomachs growl. Did you eat at all today - I mean yesterday?”

He furrowed his brow. “I think I had breakfast?”

“That’s not enough.” I held out my hand. “Another thing about being human is that we get frostbite easily when we’re out in the cold, especially when we run out to save our lovers from imaginary monsters without any clothes on. Come to the kitchen and we’ll warm you up and get you something to eat.”

He took my hand, and I noticed how his lips and fingers were blue. I took my cloak off of and wrapped him in it. “I can’t have you catching cold. That is a stupid way to die.”

I could tell that he was shocked by this whole ordeal when he didn’t protest that I was only out in my thin nightgown and wrapped himself in the cloak without argument. I led him inside and bolted the door. “Get back to bed, girls,” I ordered. “I’m sorry for this disturbance, but lessons will continue tomorrow bright and early.”

“Why is he naked?” asked Sarra.

“And what is that thing between his legs?” wondered Aveline.

I blushed. “I’ll explain tomorrow. Now off to bed with all of you! Shoo!”

I glowered at Balthazaar as we walked to the kitchens. “Look what you’ve done. I fear that I will be answering unpleasant questions about this for a long time.”

He didn’t say anything until I had sat him in front of the fire and thrust a mug of mulled wine in his hand. As I was slicing cheese, he said suddenly, “Why are they afraid of me?”

I dropped the knife and almost cut my hand. “What do you mean, they’re afraid of you?”

“Earlier, before I went outside. You said I was frightening the girls. Is it - “ he faltered. “Is it because I’m not human enough for them? You know, I’ve been trying, but it’s hard to forget centuries and centuries of lonely wanderings and I never was good at connecting to people since by the time I met anyone they were usually not in a chatty mood and - “

I laid a hand on his arm. “That’s alright, love. I know that this must be hard for you and I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Even though you’ve only been human for a little while, you’ve come far from the days when you used to skulk in the shadows. You didn’t frighten the girls because you were a god but because you are a man.”

He snorted. “That makes no sense.”

I settled myself on a chair next to him. “You have to think about what you looked like to these girls, most of whom are no older than thirteen. An enormous, scarred man bellowing in the hallway and waving a sword around - and a naked man at that - is not a pleasant sight. Many of them have never seen a naked man before, and those that have - well, it probably was not pleasant.”

He placed his head in his hands. “How could I have been so callous?”

“That’s alright,” I said gently, stroking his hair. “There’s no need to trouble yourself. I know that your intentions were good and so do they. They are quite fond of you, when you are not disturbing their sleep.”

“It’s just - I didn’t expect this human thing to be so difficult. I began to understand the pains of hunger, but I have never heard the noises. What else? I have been strong enough to withstand centuries of loneliness but I do not know if i cannot withstand a few years of being human.”

I hugged him from behind as he methodically shoveled bread and cheese into his mouth. “It will be alright, I know it. I will help you, the girls will help you, and when they come back, so will Ismae and Sybella. Being human is difficult but the great thing about being human is that you do not have to do it alone. You have friends. You have me.” I came around to the side and lightly punched his arm. “Although next time you aim to save someone from the monster that is your stomach, please let me continue sleeping.”

“My lady, do you jest at me?” he growled. “I should punish that insubordination.” He picked me up and settled me on the table.

I giggled. “Balthazaar, we mustn’t. The girls eat here! Someone could hear us!”

He gave me a wicked grin and slowly traced the outline of my thigh under my gown. “I may be but a man now, but I used to be a god and there is nobody that can stop me from having you on the kitchen table if I want to. Do you have anything to say to that?”

 

I didn’t.


End file.
